yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
