...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
