That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
