I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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