We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
