you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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