went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
