hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
