I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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