glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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