i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
