I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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