god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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