we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
