Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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