I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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