Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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