i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Damn victory sex feels great
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