I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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