STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
