I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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