What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
