is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
