New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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