Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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