You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
