I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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