Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
