just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
