My brain says no but my pants say off.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
