My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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