Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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