he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
