bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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