I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
