i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
