Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
