did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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