Dual....:-)
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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