So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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