Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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