my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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