Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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