There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
