everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
