He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
