dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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