On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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