so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
