Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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