STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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