Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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