He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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