help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
