Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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