Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I would ride that face into the sunset
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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