I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
