Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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