Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
